It's been a little Hectic with Taxes, Birthdays and Traffic, Oh My!

So, my January is shaping up to be the busiest month I've had in a while. Let's see, I started off the month by volunteering my time at the VITA/TCE tax specialist program. It sounded like a great idea when I signed up and sounded even better when I realized I would get two weeks out of work to learn about specific tax policy that impacts my co-workers. I even convinced my work B.F.F. Kelly to join in with me because as long as you've got a buddy it can't be that bad right? Wrong. So the class was taught by actual IRS employee's, I'm talking about 18 plus years of service, but every time we would ask a question they would stare at us. It's not like they stared and then answered like we were idiots, they pretended like they never heard the question because they had no idea what the answer could possibly be. For anyone who is currently unemployed, I suggest checking out the internal revenue service because they obviously don't require much experience. After two weeks I have learned the difference between refundable and non-refundable credits, deductions, itemization's, IRS and additional taxes. I have also learned that my tax guy (yes, I have one and no he doesn't come from H&R block!) has been screwing me for years! The most important lesson I've learned is that everyone should take a tax class if you want to learn what you are entitled to otherwise the IRS is going to take you for everything you are worth. The classes were so bad I dreamed about taxes for 3 days in a row. Do you know how sad it is to crunch numbers in your sleep! I like to dream about things like David Beckham and a new purse not making sure someone has declared their interest on a CD by using a 1099INT form.Sigh.

To make matters worse, the whole entire week has been plague with temperatures in the teens. You know the kind of temperature that makes you tear up on contact. I called my friend back in California only to be told she was enjoying 80 degree days and had not only been to the beach twice but had accomplished a tan!!!!!!!! This girl was vampire white when I saw her last month and now she is a golden shade of brown. I woke up last week to a layer of frost on my car and ground which gave me flashbacks to my slip from last winter.

Traffic has been crazy the last few days due to the inauguration. I've camped out in my house for the last day for fear of getting stuck on the 495 for hours. On a happier note, I did get Tuesday off because of the perpetual parking lot that is the DC area freeway system.The future in-laws (The sane ones) came down for the weekend. That was awesome. They came bringing makeup xmas gifts that filled up my entire living room. They are so thoughtful it is insane. Chaz and I got all new winter running gear and Doc got a basket full of kitchen appliances. Destructo got a cache of awesome toys I have never before seen in my life.He has spent the past 2 day tinkering with his new play things. The future in-laws in return received authentic Harley Davidson pictures to hang on in their new downstairs bar. These people love Harley Davidson, so much so that every time they come down we spend the weekend visiting different Harley shops in the area (never the same, I hear its a big Harley thing). I thought I was slick this time because I worked on Friday and they came in on Thursday. They called while I was in class to ask about a spare key for the door so I assumed they were well on their way to a shop but when I walked in the door they were home and waiting for me to join them. Wamp Wamp!

I also had a chance to work on invites for Destructo's B-day. I found an awesome place in DC that entertains children from 1-5 years old which is great. Now all of my friends can bring their kids and not have to worry about them being bored. It's a little pricey but I love it. Let's face it, there's no way I would be able to entertain 15 kids for two hours! I'm a firm believer in paying someone who can. Besides its his first birthday so I have to. Which leads me to his awesome birthday card I made on snapfish. Maybe not that awesome, but anything with his face on it makes my heart swoon (I'm such a Mommy and yes I will excuse you while you gag!). So without further ado, may I present to you parts of Destructo's B-day Invite:

I know its way blurry. This isn't the actual card but a copy of the last draft I saved before ordering it. They turned out really awesome and now I just need to deliver them.Well I hope everyone else is having a great month and I promise to blog more diligently...Pinky Promise!

From the Land of Flannel Pajamas to the World of Morning Commutes

4 am wake up. 5 am departure.6am drop off to daycare. By 6:30 bums were in the seat while cups of coffee were snuggled and coveted. Conversations were had by old friends who had been missing from my life for what seemed like ages. Email was read and deleted because it was no longer pertinent. Witty banter was thrown across the cubicles like a riveting game of catch. Christmas trauma's were shared as secretly, lucky stars were thanked. Paychecks were earned as analysis was conducted and reports were written. Oh it feels good to be back in the land of adults.Until next time Christmas vacation.

NYE Run Results

Hey Cosmo, how was your NYE run? Well glad you asked. Hands down the worst run I've ever done. How? you ask. Well lets see, when I woke up in the morning it was 45-50ish degrees (the day before was close to 60).Great temp for a run right?By time 4pm rolled around the temp had dropped to 34 and continued to decline. Living in this area, I have run in colder but this time the temperature came back with a friend. Meet Mr. Wind. Mr. Wind carried a punch of 35-50 miles per hour and terrorized the local area with downed trees, powerlines and anything else he could knock over and bully. Doctor Doctor checked the racing web page and even though there was a down powerline in the middle of the course, the powers that be (greed) decided the race must go on.

At six o'clock we left the house. I double checked this list of things for Destructo:Jogging stroller-check, wind protective covering-check, Snow suit-check, Bottle and diapers-check. Everyone had on their traditional race gear. Chaz wore his Firefighting jacket (don't ask), I wore my fuchsia fleece jacket an doc wore her matching electric blue jacket. This is the only way we can find each other during the race or at the end.

As soon as we park and step outside, the wind hits us. Mr. Wind obliterates my fleece and goes straight for the heart. His buddy cold follows close behind. My poor uncovered hands never had a chance.They only suffered for a few seconds before I lost all feeling in my fingers. I scramble to the trunk to look in my backup closet and then it dawned on me. Due to unfair pressure to conform and clean (Chaz, Doc) my trunk was completely empty except for my jogging stroller. I silently cursed them (maybe not so silent). We all scrambled to switch accessories in a moment of true family bonding. Chaz wore my pink gloves (he'd forgotten his), I wore Doc's heavy winter coat (she took pitty on me) and she double layered by wearing my fuchsia jacket under hers. I personally wanted to get back in the car but then I realized I wouldn't be able to redeem my nike hoodie unless I crossed the finish line.By that time the temp had dropped to 28.

Since the original course was unfit to run they altered it to four huge (mile-ish)laps around the heart of downtown. Chaz and I started off in the back because of the stroller and zig-zagged diligently to make up time and reclaim our rightful spots towards the front. First off, it took over a lap to pass all of the walkers which tells me they lined up in the front. The powers that be (at greed) weren't prepared to close both lanes of traffic so only one was completely shut down. I can now say I know what it feels like to be herded like a cow. The wind blew so hard at times my shoe was thrown into my other ankle (ooowww). By lap three Chaz and the baby committed mutiny and stopped mid-race (fine). We tried to get the baby out of the stroller but since our hands were frozen and it was dark, it was nearly impossible. 5 minutes later I was back on track..... with the jogging stroller. Don't ask me why he didn't take it with him, I don't know delirium from the cold! People do stupid things when it's cold! The wind was so bad at that point everyone was at a stand-still. There was actually a point were I could do nothing but try to keep my footing until the gust of wind passed. I spent the majority of lap three making up for lost time and hiding my face as people stared at the girl with the empty stroller. That's when I realized they had opened the finish line and everyone was running in. Under normal circumstances ok, but not today. 95% of the people were unaware of the fact that you had to do 4 laps so they were coming in with the gazelles. Look if you power walked the whole time, there's noway you did 4 miles in 25 minutes. Being the honest person that I am (I so wanted to quit but I thought it would be too obvious!) I pushed my stroller for another lap. I promptly gave everyone else stank eye as they lied to themselves and came in a lap early. By time I finished the line to the sweatshirt was out the door. I continued to push my stroller into line. I actually had someone tell me my baby was really quiet as she looked in to see emptiness. It was really awkward! I finally picked up my sweatshirt and walked back to the car with Doc. On a funnier note, it was really funny watching Doc cry over the prospect of frost-bitten fingers(don't worry I knew they weren't). The fear in her voice was priceless!I think I almost peed myself. I know, I'm a mean sister!

Am I crazy or.....

So am I crazy or has Destructo created his own word for no?

Me: Booger, put that spoon down please.
Destructo: Dah!
(Inserts spoon back in mouth)

Me: Come back sweetie! Don't go in the dining room.
Destructo: (Stops in motion, slowly turns head, looks me dead in the eye) "Dah Dah!"
Scoots into the dining room to play with the train under the Christmas tree (I know, I still have until tomorrow to take it down!)

Me: Destructo, you get down from that stair and stop climbing on your gate!
Destructo: Dah dah dah dah dah Nah Dah!
Me: Are you sassing me?"
Destructo: DAh nah Dah na Dah Dah!
Doc.Doc: I think he just told you to back off!
Destructo continues to rattle on the gate like King Kong on top of the empire state building.

So ladies, is it possible for a 10 1/2 month old to get sassy or am I just delusional? If you need more info to form a case study, there are more such incidences. I was just curious. I love my son it is just amazing how much changes in a year. It is so awesome to watch his personality grow and I can already tell what it will be like when he's 20. This little defiant streak has me thinking though, could you image him in his teens!

Cut to Scene

Me: So I see your cleats are still in the living room. Could you please put them in your room.
Destructo: Gah mom! Just give me a second!
Me: One. Your second is up.
Destructo: (Eye Roll then stomps down the hall)
Me: (Followin close behind) What did you say?
Destructo: Huh, I didn't say anything!
Me: But you were thinking it! I'm all up in your head so you better check your thoughts young man!

...and Scene

I've wanted to use that last line since I was a teen. My mom used it on me and it would always cause two simultaneous reactions annoyance and paranoia, could she really sense my thoughts? Just wanted to leave you all with some mommy food for thought.

How will you spend your New Years Eve?

Chaz, Destructo, Doctor Doctor and I will be spending ours pounding the pavement. We are participating in the First Annual Fairfax 4-miler. I am very excited and cannot wait to stretch my legs out in a sea of people ranging in age from 0-80. I have something to prove this run. I normally try to race once a month but I kind of overslept the morning of the 8k Reindeer run this month. Doctor Doctor had to go on without us. I love running in official races. Its such a rush! I'm ubber-competitive so it's always inspirational when I get to battle it out with the same handful of runners. You know, the ones you pass only to watch them pass you 2 minutes later. Chaz and Destructo are going to run it with me. Normally destructo sits on the sidelines but I think it will be good to get out there as a family. Its crazy watching how good everyone is! There are people pushing double strollers running 6-minute miles and octogenarians running in under 8-minute miles, it is insane!Well I just want to wish everyone and your families a Happy and Safe New Year (all three of you;P). See you all in 2009!

Best As Seen on TV Product of 2008

Look, don't get me wrong. I love shopping. I am in no way, shape or form an "As seen on TV" addict, HSN addict or any other form of TV shopping addict. To be honest with you, I have A.D.D. (not really but some times I wonder) so by time the commercial goes off I've already forgotten. Don't even get me started on the spokespeople who push these products. Vince from "Shamwow!" with the crazy eye, Billy from 90% of the other commercials and his fake enthusiasm *sigh*.

Anywho, the sis and I were watching the telli when we saw it.Did you hear me people-IT! At first, Doctor doctor expressed interest and I immediately dismissed the idea. I would never be caught with IT in the house. After trying ,to no avail, to dissuade her I slowly started to think. First off, there is no way a package is coming in this house without my name attached to it (pathetic and middle sisterish, I know) and if she's interested then it has to be awesome (once again the middle child comes out). Besides, I knew Chaz wouldn't be interested because it's not very manly so that would leave one person for the resistance.

Everyday we waited by the door diligently for IT to arrive. One thing I did learn from ordering off of the t.v. was when they say 6 weeks, they mean six weeks. I think they ship everything by covered wagon. During my morning commute on week two I even heard my favorite morning DJ's talking about IT. The movement was gaining speed. Week four, Doctor doctor called to see what the hold up was.They hadn't even charged her card yet! That is when she received the dreaded message," Due to an influx of orders, we are currently back ordered". Bumbumbum (You have to hum it with the Law and Order tone).

Something glorious occurred two weeks ago, IT arrived.I guess we beat the worst of the wave of customers and had ours by Christmas. Does that make us trendsetters?

Drumroll please!

INTRODUCING the 2008 winner of Cosmo-Mom in the City's "This never leaves the confines of this blog!" Citation and "Unexpectedly Awesome" Award:

The Snuggie!

I have shunned all other blankets for the past 14 days. The snuggie is exactly what it says it is, a blanket with sleeves. It's genius! I am able to be the blanket hog I have always secretly been without feeling guilty. Anytime Chaz asks, "Can I get a little bit of that?" I say,"Sorry babe (fake sad face), my hands are tied. The sleeves kind of make it a solo person blanket!" then I snicker underneath the warmth and love of my snuggie. I recommend it for anyone who is a blanket hog or lives where it's cold. Word to the wise, you better order now if you want it ready by next winter.

*WARNING* Do not attempt to put more than a few pages in the accompanying free book light clip! I slit my finger on the sharp edge and I promise I could see the bone....ok maybe not the bone but there was definitely blood!

Battle of the Gift Card

2 weeks ago, Doctor Doctor, Destructo and I made a short impromptu three day visit to our home town in California. Yes, that is correct, we flew a combined 10 hours for 55 hours of face time. You have to understand, we come from a small town that will suck you in ever chance it gets, not to mention our family is crazy (especially our extended family). 55 hours is more than enough time to say hello, hug and be extremely offended (trust me)they've done it in less.I digress. Anywho, no one knew we were coming until we arrived at the airport. Due to a 2 hour lay over in New Orleans (who closes all of their kiosk's at 6 pm , by the way) we had to call Daddy to pick us up for fear enterprise car rental was already closed.

The next day we went to visit our Grandmothers. Our mothers mother is in Rehab (she had a stroke) and thus the reason we made the trip. At the Rehab I ran into my Aunt Faith who in a matter of an hour was able to eat all of my food, scare Destructo so bad he rang his hands and insinuate she was coming to visit us in D.C. next summer (negativo).As soon as we arrive at my other Grandmother's house it was just as bad.My Aunt busy-body and Aunt mooch were both there. Aunt mooch is 40 and still lives at home.She also only pays 200 dollars in rent and refuses to help my grandmother get to and from dialysis. I spent the next 4 hours trying to pry my crying baby out of Aunt mooch's hands. I promise her kisses are toxic. Aunt busy-body on the other hand,scrambled to create non-existent presents.

Look, I find myself to be one of the most gracious gift- receivers I know. I never turn down a gift because I find it to be rude and I find use for everything. I always act like it is just what I wanted and never make another peep about it. I find it to be extremely tacky when people openly bash their gifts to the person who gave it to them. Since this is my blog I will share with you my frustration over Aunt busy-body and her gifts. We've had a long sordid past with her and Christmas gifts. It's not that she gives everyone impersonal or horrible presents, my other cousins get great presents (because they are bigger) and we get the "Sorry I forgot about you and this is all they had left" presents. On a good year, we get Vicky-Secrets body wash and a hair comb set from Wal-mart. On a bad year, well lets revisit the ghost I call X-mas closet past. Keep in mind, this all took place after 1999.

There was my sophomore year when I received shiny Kedz and my cousins all got the really awesome Nikes.




















My senior year, the cousins got awesome jackets and I got a Pepto Bismol pink sweater oh and I forgot to mention it was made of fur.



When I was 19 I received a gift certificate to Lane Bryant, only problem was I was a size 2 and the smallest size they sell is a size 14!

When I was 22, my cousins got awesome sweaters and I got (wait for it)



Bejeweled Mom jeans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say when she magically found JC Penney gift cards for us this year I was relieved and anxious ( I haven't stepped in one in years). My sister and I made a game of it and found some really awesome finds on clearance.

I found a similar velvet lined black blazer from St. Johns Bay for $12.99.




And this awesome top from Nicole by Nicole Miller for JC Penney for $15.99.



which will go great with my Joe's jeans and black riding boots