Showing posts with label Embarassing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Embarassing. Show all posts

Friday, January 2, 2009

NYE Run Results

Hey Cosmo, how was your NYE run? Well glad you asked. Hands down the worst run I've ever done. How? you ask. Well lets see, when I woke up in the morning it was 45-50ish degrees (the day before was close to 60).Great temp for a run right?By time 4pm rolled around the temp had dropped to 34 and continued to decline. Living in this area, I have run in colder but this time the temperature came back with a friend. Meet Mr. Wind. Mr. Wind carried a punch of 35-50 miles per hour and terrorized the local area with downed trees, powerlines and anything else he could knock over and bully. Doctor Doctor checked the racing web page and even though there was a down powerline in the middle of the course, the powers that be (greed) decided the race must go on.

At six o'clock we left the house. I double checked this list of things for Destructo:Jogging stroller-check, wind protective covering-check, Snow suit-check, Bottle and diapers-check. Everyone had on their traditional race gear. Chaz wore his Firefighting jacket (don't ask), I wore my fuchsia fleece jacket an doc wore her matching electric blue jacket. This is the only way we can find each other during the race or at the end.

As soon as we park and step outside, the wind hits us. Mr. Wind obliterates my fleece and goes straight for the heart. His buddy cold follows close behind. My poor uncovered hands never had a chance.They only suffered for a few seconds before I lost all feeling in my fingers. I scramble to the trunk to look in my backup closet and then it dawned on me. Due to unfair pressure to conform and clean (Chaz, Doc) my trunk was completely empty except for my jogging stroller. I silently cursed them (maybe not so silent). We all scrambled to switch accessories in a moment of true family bonding. Chaz wore my pink gloves (he'd forgotten his), I wore Doc's heavy winter coat (she took pitty on me) and she double layered by wearing my fuchsia jacket under hers. I personally wanted to get back in the car but then I realized I wouldn't be able to redeem my nike hoodie unless I crossed the finish line.By that time the temp had dropped to 28.

Since the original course was unfit to run they altered it to four huge (mile-ish)laps around the heart of downtown. Chaz and I started off in the back because of the stroller and zig-zagged diligently to make up time and reclaim our rightful spots towards the front. First off, it took over a lap to pass all of the walkers which tells me they lined up in the front. The powers that be (at greed) weren't prepared to close both lanes of traffic so only one was completely shut down. I can now say I know what it feels like to be herded like a cow. The wind blew so hard at times my shoe was thrown into my other ankle (ooowww). By lap three Chaz and the baby committed mutiny and stopped mid-race (fine). We tried to get the baby out of the stroller but since our hands were frozen and it was dark, it was nearly impossible. 5 minutes later I was back on track..... with the jogging stroller. Don't ask me why he didn't take it with him, I don't know delirium from the cold! People do stupid things when it's cold! The wind was so bad at that point everyone was at a stand-still. There was actually a point were I could do nothing but try to keep my footing until the gust of wind passed. I spent the majority of lap three making up for lost time and hiding my face as people stared at the girl with the empty stroller. That's when I realized they had opened the finish line and everyone was running in. Under normal circumstances ok, but not today. 95% of the people were unaware of the fact that you had to do 4 laps so they were coming in with the gazelles. Look if you power walked the whole time, there's noway you did 4 miles in 25 minutes. Being the honest person that I am (I so wanted to quit but I thought it would be too obvious!) I pushed my stroller for another lap. I promptly gave everyone else stank eye as they lied to themselves and came in a lap early. By time I finished the line to the sweatshirt was out the door. I continued to push my stroller into line. I actually had someone tell me my baby was really quiet as she looked in to see emptiness. It was really awkward! I finally picked up my sweatshirt and walked back to the car with Doc. On a funnier note, it was really funny watching Doc cry over the prospect of frost-bitten fingers(don't worry I knew they weren't). The fear in her voice was priceless!I think I almost peed myself. I know, I'm a mean sister!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Best As Seen on TV Product of 2008

Look, don't get me wrong. I love shopping. I am in no way, shape or form an "As seen on TV" addict, HSN addict or any other form of TV shopping addict. To be honest with you, I have A.D.D. (not really but some times I wonder) so by time the commercial goes off I've already forgotten. Don't even get me started on the spokespeople who push these products. Vince from "Shamwow!" with the crazy eye, Billy from 90% of the other commercials and his fake enthusiasm *sigh*.




Anywho, the sis and I were watching the telli when we saw it.Did you hear me people-IT! At first, Doctor doctor expressed interest and I immediately dismissed the idea. I would never be caught with IT in the house. After trying ,to no avail, to dissuade her I slowly started to think. First off, there is no way a package is coming in this house without my name attached to it (pathetic and middle sisterish, I know) and if she's interested then it has to be awesome (once again the middle child comes out). Besides, I knew Chaz wouldn't be interested because it's not very manly so that would leave one person for the resistance.




Everyday we waited by the door diligently for IT to arrive. One thing I did learn from ordering off of the t.v. was when they say 6 weeks, they mean six weeks. I think they ship everything by covered wagon. During my morning commute on week two I even heard my favorite morning DJ's talking about IT. The movement was gaining speed. Week four, Doctor doctor called to see what the hold up was.They hadn't even charged her card yet! That is when she received the dreaded message," Due to an influx of orders, we are currently back ordered". Bumbumbum (You have to hum it with the Law and Order tone).
Something glorious occurred two weeks ago, IT arrived.I guess we beat the worst of the wave of customers and had ours by Christmas. Does that make us trendsetters?




Drumroll please!




INTRODUCING the 2008 winner of Cosmo-Mom in the City's "This never leaves the confines of this blog!" Citation and "Unexpectedly Awesome" Award:
The Snuggie!
I have shunned all other blankets for the past 14 days. The snuggie is exactly what it says it is, a blanket with sleeves. It's genius! I am able to be the blanket hog I have always secretly been without feeling guilty. Anytime Chaz asks, "Can I get a little bit of that?" I say,"Sorry babe (fake sad face), my hands are tied. The sleeves kind of make it a solo person blanket!" then I snicker underneath the warmth and love of my snuggie. I recommend it for anyone who is a blanket hog or lives where it's cold. Word to the wise, you better order now if you want it ready by next winter.
*WARNING* Do not attempt to put more than a few pages in the accompanying free book light clip! I slit my finger on the sharp edge and I promise I could see the bone....ok maybe not the bone but there was definitely blood!