Destructo Strikes Again!

I thought maybe you all would get a chuckle out of the e-mail I had to send to all of my friends about my latest cellphone.

My beautiful 5-month old Blackberry pearl is dead. I watched it take its last breath Monday. I hooked it up to life support throughout the night but my efforts were futile. I finally pulled the plug yesterday morning when there had been no sign of recorded brain activity for longer than 12 hours. I am currently in the process of pressing charges but I don't know how well a trial would go with a 10-month old since he cannot defend himself. I think it’s technically illegal. I guess its partially my fault. The next time you think about giving your innocent phone to your teething child to pacify him, think again. Whenever you laugh at your child slobber dialing, think of all of the pain the cellphone is being caused. In its last month of life, my phone's camera and video recorder were broken. Do you know what that makes it? Just a cellphone. No better than the huge one Zack Morris used on Saved by the Bell! Long story short- my phone is broken and with the holiday coming up I probably won't get around to fixing it until next week. If you are even thinking about calling me, please just send me a message. I have to go, I have a funeral to plan. Chew toy's can be sent in lieu of flowers.