Hello Stranger

After months of religiously stalking bloggers of the world, I have decided to participate myself. Everyday, multiple times a day, I catchup on the daily happenings of the masses and finally I have worked up the courage to discuss my life. With over a million some odd bloggers and countless blog stalkers, someone has to find me interesting right?

Lets start with the small stuff. I am originally from the sunny and never cold state of California where everyday consisted of worrying about what to wear and if my hair looked alright. After school, I moved to Hawaii for work where I learned one of two things:
1. No one Knows how to drive. Seriously, just because your neighbor's "Auntie" works at the DMV doesn't mean you should bypass reading the whole book and call in a favor. If you're driving slower than 50 on the freeway, we might have a problem.
2. Sand really can hide in the tiniest of crevices. Nothing like going to a Doc's appt.and getting called out for the tiny beach in your ear canal.

Living in Hawaii for three years was amazing. The beaches were gorgeous, the islands were incredible and there was never a dull moment.Lots of pontoon trips, snorkeling tours, paintball and last but not least booze cruises. For those of you who happen to be land locked, booze cruises are 15-passenger fastboats that cruise around the island and offer unlimited drinks! While living on Oahu my fiance (we'll call him Chaz) and I found out we were pregnant and decided to move back to the mainland. Oahu is a beautiful place to raise a family but I didn't feel comfortable raising a child in a state who annually battled it out for the title of 50th state on the education rankings.

I was transferred to the D.C. area while 7 months pregnant in the dead of winter. Dumb on my part. When you go from 90 degree tropical weather to 30 degree mid-Atlantic weather, the body doesn't handle it well. After a miserable month of waddling in the cold sub-arctic city I soon learned the city could be a harsh place. One particularly frigid morning, I got a little too bold on my walk out to the car and slipped on a patch of ice. After 36-hours under observation with no food (who starves a pregnant woman!) our beautiful baby boy (Destructo) was born.Destructo can destroy anything within a 50-foot radius.If you don't believe me you can ask my phone, necklace, computer, doorstop, carseat, breast pump etc.Since he is under the age of one (barely) I chalk it up to a learning experience...a really expensive learning experience.

After returning from my unexpected maternity leave I quickly fell into the swing of things at work.1 hour commute in (Gotta love that traffic), 8.5 hours of typing like a drone, pick up Destructo, 1 hour commute out. I currently work for one of the largest analytical agencies in the country, where I have worked for 4 years. I worked for one of their outposts in Hawaii. Its definitely interesting. Everyone is over the age of 50 or looks like they are 13 and a child prodigy. I start my morning off with a healthy dose of political banter.Not my own, of course! Oh no, the people in the next set of cubicles (The old schoolers) always start off with a 6 am cup of coffee and politics. For some strange reason, they believe that a cubicle=wall. There is a five foot gap from the top of the cubicles to the ceiling. I find myself trying to scratch my eyes out with dull pencils and staple my ears shut every morning. Around 9 o'clock, the rest of my office rolls in and I watch them do a whole lot of non-work. At 2:30 I promptly log off of my computer (mid-sentence or report on occasion) and head for the daycare.I'm not even going to get started on my trials and tribulations with the daycare, seeing as we've all just met but there will be time for that. I make my daily return commute, do a little listening to music while shaking an angry fist at drivers or trying to hand destructo his bottle that he has conveniently thrown across the backseat. But enough about me. Let's talk about the other players in my life.

"Chaz"- My love, other-half, the guy who eats my left-overs without permission and thinks that feeding destructo a crap-ton of Cheerios is sufficient food(sigh). Chaz is a firefighter and a man's man. I made the mistake of taking him to the symphony once and he whined the whole time. He likes anything to do with the outdoors, sports and cars. He also has a secret love for Mariah Carey (me giving side eye). He's the exact opposite of me. He's ridiculously laid-back and I am extremely anal (the hyperventilating type).

"Doctor Doctor" or "Sis"- My older sister who is in the process of applying for med school. She is the only person who is able to put me in my place and make me see the error of my ways. She's also the level-headed one.She is my partner in crime. I call her obsessively if I get home before she does and email her non-stop at work(she gives me my daily gossip). We spend our time laughing,shopping, working out and shopping (yes, twice. It's that bad).Doc Doc is training for a half marathon and I am going along for the fun.

"Destructo"- My 10-month old son. I knew we had a magical relationship the moment he projectile pooped on me when he was 3-weeks old.Since then, i've cleaned many blowout diapers, watched him scramble up the stairs when the gate was left open and finger paint with slobber on my flatscreen TV for fun. He rules this household with an iron fist. His hobbies include touching the buttons on my laptop, gumming my blackberry and pulling on the blinds for fun.

"The Court"- The row of Town homes the four of us live in on the outskirts of the city. The court is part of a small community of town homes with its very own committee of busy bodies who tape notices to your door for things like "Need to paint front fire cap!". WTF is a fire cap?Seriously, if anyone knows please tell us because we are still scratching our heads.

"The B.F.F."- My best friend and new divorcee mother of two who transferred to the city with me for a fresh start. We met in college and have known each other for seven years. Our love is so severe we have matching Audi's (Player one and Player two) and we've seen each other give birth. Scratch that, I saw her give birth and she fell asleep in the hospital chair during destructo's birth and when we woke her up to tell her they were giving me an emergency c-section, her response was, " Make sure they throw in an extra stitch so you get your killer abs back!" no lie. I have been her maid-of-honor and the person who drove her to the lawyer's to sign her divorce paperwork. We are so inseparable we had to get unlimited minutes on our cellphone for our daily commute chats which consist of conversations ranging from a riveting game of "Oh no she di'int!" to "Guess what the kid did" to "I love my Significant Other but sometimes I could strangle him with my purse straps!".

"Abdul" - Former College ball player and personal trainer to me and my sis. He also has no understanding of the words "It hurts" " I don't think I can go on" and "I'm going to pass out" but does no how to get you back in those pre-baby jeans!

So that was the short list of the primary players in my life. This was a brief introduction of my hectic life and I hope you find it interesting enough to read. I feel so much better declaring myself a blogger versus being a stalker!